𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖌օ𝖇𝖑յ𝖓 𝖇𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖒𝖊𝖑𝖙

(brainmelt: a word invented by me because I was too stupid to find any other word that means me spilling out my thoughts)

I'm just gonna be completely honest and spill out a bunch of thoughts for a bit. I feel like I always should know better. Second guessing feels more like gambing to me all because I take everything seriously. The stupidest things give me this feelng of existential dread. And I feel like I can't control these things. Sure, I have therapy, but it feels like therapy isn't helping. And that just makes everything feel worse because the whole point of therapy is that you get help. But even if I do, it doesn't feel like they've fully made me feel better is that normal? Also, why do I keep thinking of my enevitable death all the time??? I know I hate thinking about it, yet I stil think about it. It keeps making me cry, it keeps scaring me, yet I still think about it!!! I've despiratly been trying to make my life more positive, but I keep making myself feel worse in the process. And what's even worse is that I still think people care enough to see me vent like this. (pretend you never saw this)